POLL: Who is King of the Self-Righteous Artfag Whiners?

The Dayton Dirt Collective, a small, crappy venue located at 144 E. 3rd St in downtown Dayton, has been throwing boring shows that nobody goes to for over a year now. With the summer show season winding down, we at the VD thought it would be the perfect time to pay tribute to some of the members who spend so much time in this wet dog-smelling shithole. So we bring you a new poll: Who is King of the Self-Righteous Artfag Whiners? We would like to thank the thoughtful reader from whom we stole the idea! And the nominees are:
Aaron Smith - artfag to the max! Aaron was the bass player of seminal Dayton "post-rock" noise act Romance of Young Tigers, a band whose lack of talent could only be surpassed by the dumbness of their name.
"Punk Rock" Nick Anderson - A whiny crybaby who hasn't taken a shower since Headbanger's Ball went off the air, prNick is the founder and treasurer of the DDC. Perhaps the most self-righteous member, prNick can often be found moping around the dirtspace sweeping up cigarette butts, presumably to smoke later in the gutter with the other members of Rad Company.
Jim Tarjeft - Drunken fool Jim is the facility coordinator of the DDC. Though we couldn't figure out what that title actually means, our guess is that it's just a ploy to make him sound impressive to women. Sorry Jim! Never gonna happen!
Jeremy Price - Price has been spotted taking money at the door during many events. Because of this, we at the VD think of him as the "ambassador" of the Collective. With his puffy brown hair, and his dreamy dark complexion, we just really really wanna fuck him.
Ravi Star - Pledge frontman Ravi brings a straight edge presence to the DDC. That's right, just in case the lack of seating, air conditioning, or booze wasn't enough to keep you from coming to shows at the DDC, they made sure to throw some violent, karate-kicking neanderthals into the mix.

Please, take a moment to vote for your choice of King of the Self-Righteous Artfag Whiners. These men have given so much to make E. 3rd Street just that much more disgusting.

Brandon Hawk crowned King of Dayton hipsters!

The results are in! With 24 of the 61 total votes, the winner of the VD's first poll is Brandon Hawk!




We are still in dire need of some nominees for the upcoming Queen of the Dayton scene poll! Post some names in the comments! Or call (937) 265-4074 to leave an anonymous voicemail. You can even text @vishnuden to 729669.




There's still time to vote for which Dayton band should throw in the towel.







There were 7 votes for "other" that included Darth Vader, Jeremy Price, Andy Roe, kanible, Andy Ingram, Brian Saunders, and "whoever made this blog" all of which received 1 vote. Look for a write-up coming soon on the "kingly-haired" King hipster of Dayton.

State School Host $100 a Plate Brunch in Super-Cool Hipster Loft

I would really like to say that I went to see the sweet State School Bruncheon on Sunday at an apartment in the Cannery. But I can't say that, because I didn't go. You see, I wasn't invited. Apparently I am not cool enough. Thanks a lot, State School!

I can only imagine the fancy brunch meats and cheese trays. I bet there were vegetarian and vegan options as well as a plethora of succulent lunch meats, waiting to be gobbled up. Plates of carrots and broccoli, soy milk and tofu! Oh, how I can almost taste it! Sweet honey hams and sugar plums. Mountains upon mountains of mashed potatoes and gravy. Tendrils of green beans for as far as the eye can see. What a lunch would be concocted for the masses of State School fans! The aroma from pots of the finest espressoes east of Pacchia would fill the air whilst the sweet sound of kazoos and hand-claps buzz buzz buzz in my ear.

I bet that only the coolest cats were there. The elite few, the privileged ones worthy enough to have been told the access code to enter the building and break bread with the band. Girls wearing colorful dresses sporting septum rings would sip chai tea and whisper in awe of the beautifully sculpted crab cakes. Brandon Hawk and Joe Anderl's 1984 NFL Draft would talk quietly in the corner, praising the bran muffins, waiting for a chance to escape so they could split an American Spirit cigarette. I bet the ever-questionable Jeremy Price was there, snacking along side of that old guy with the glasses and Grey hair who rides a scooter.

Ok, so I may not be the coolest guy in the world but I can tell you this for sure: I know food. And even though State School reminds me of being five years old, I doubt their performance would have been as good as the brunch.

Gassett Disemboweled by Mouth of the Architect

Public will not have to stomach third benefit show.

Noted local John Gassett was exenterated yesterday around 4PM on the 400 block of E. Fifth Street in a gruesome attack by members of the sludge band Mouth of the Architect. According to witnesses, Gassett came into the 5th Street Deli to ask employee and M.O.T.A. keyboard player Jason Watkins if he could hang a flyer for his most recent benefit show. Watkins did not initially have a problem with the request. Until, that is, he noticed his own band's name on the flyer.



Promotional sticker for ill-fated event.
"Apparantly, no member of Mouth of the Architect had been asked if the band would play the show," stated police officer Jack Arnold at a press conference. "This set Watkins and drummer Dave Mann, who had been standing at the counter drinking coffee, into a blinding rage."

"Mann then threw his scalding hot coffee into Gassett's face," said the officer. "Meanwhile, Watkins jumped over the counter and just starting pounding on him. Horrified onlookers continued eating their sandwiches. Watkins reportedly asked the victim what cause the proceeds of the show would benefit, to which Gassett responded, 'I need money for more weed.'"

While Watkins continued to pummel Gassett, witnesses tell us that Mann broke a wine bottle over a nearby tabletop and drove the jagged weapon into the victim's stomach. The vicious Mann then scooped out much of Gassett's digestive tract, which Watkins is reported to have eaten. Authorities arrived minutes later, apprehending the suspects.

While the other members of Mouth of the Architect declined to comment, 5th Street Deli owner Robert Strong assured customers that there will be "a little bit of John Gassett" in the falafel for months to come.

Which Dayton band should throw in the towel?

Voting has begun on which Dayton band needs to call it quits. Luxury Pushers, Once-Ler, Nightbeast, The Sics, The Story Changes, and Legbone were the nominees submitted to the VD. Voting will be open for one week for what I'm sure will be quite a contentious poll. Post a band name in this thread's comments and they will be added to the poll choices. Names entered within the poll's other choice become visible after it closes.





Nominees are now being accepted for the upcoming poll: Who is Queen of the Dayton scene? Nominees must be female and residents of the Fem- I mean the Gem City.

There's also still time to vote on King of the Dayton hipster through this Thursday afternoon.

Who is the #1 Dayton hipster?

VD is excited to announce that voting has begun for who is the King hipster in town. Voting will close on August 6 at 4:20pm. The poll is in the sidebar on the left. New nominees may be added by Anonymous, Roscoe, or myself as we see fit (you can go back and change your vote until the poll closes).

You should also begin submitting your nominees now for next week's poll: Which Dayton band should throw in the fucking towel? Post a comment, or call the vishnu den @ 937.265.4074 and leave a message. Keep it lively folks.

WOXY to Resuck

...as one of the leading failures that has kept Southwestern Ohio indifferent about local new music for nearly 30 years, WOXY has been a fickle resource both as a terrestrial and (particularly as an) internet-based radio station. An announcement early this morning indicated that WOXY will be following the trendiness of many Rust Belt companies by relocating to the South, specifically Austin, TX. The move makes sense, as the WOXY folks did extensive brown-nosing there at last year's SXSW festival, courting over 20 up-and-coming crap acts to participate in the Lounge Acts sessions. Surely, this loss will send shockwaves of "mehs" through our regional scene for an hour or two, as WOXY helped to exploit the spotlight on new talent, as well as bringing some boring tards to the area. The mere absence of WOXY in our region was totally predictable...