I would really like to say that I went to see the sweet State School Bruncheon on Sunday at an apartment in the Cannery. But I can't say that, because I didn't go. You see, I wasn't invited. Apparently I am not cool enough. Thanks a lot, State School!I can only imagine the fancy brunch meats and cheese trays. I bet there were vegetarian and vegan options as well as a plethora of succulent lunch meats, waiting to be gobbled up. Plates of carrots and broccoli, soy milk and tofu! Oh, how I can almost taste it! Sweet honey hams and sugar plums. Mountains upon mountains of mashed potatoes and gravy. Tendrils of green beans for as far as the eye can see. What a lunch would be concocted for the masses of State School fans! The aroma from pots of the finest espressoes east of Pacchia would fill the air whilst the sweet sound of kazoos and hand-claps buzz buzz buzz in my ear.
I bet that only the coolest cats were there. The elite few, the privileged ones worthy enough to have been told the access code to enter the building and break bread with the band. Girls wearing colorful dresses sporting septum rings would sip chai tea and whisper in awe of the beautifully sculpted crab cakes. Brandon Hawk and Joe Anderl's 1984 NFL Draft would talk quietly in the corner, praising the bran muffins, waiting for a chance to escape so they could split an American Spirit cigarette. I bet the ever-questionable Jeremy Price was there, snacking along side of that old guy with the glasses and Grey hair who rides a scooter.
Ok, so I may not be the coolest guy in the world but I can tell you this for sure: I know food. And even though State School reminds me of being five years old, I doubt their performance would have been as good as the brunch.
This is amazing. Bwahahaha.
ReplyDeleteDid you enjoy your pancakes, at least?
ReplyDeleteI think we can have a good conversation about this; I think you are capable of communicating your ideals in a manner that is less hurtful than this blog post. I'm pretty sure I know who you are, and you have always been so friendly in our brief encounters...this is very confusing. It is funny, I laughed, but I think there have been some pretty serious misunderstandings about this that I'd like to talk to you about. I hope that you will give me the chance to do that.
ReplyDelete-Noelle
The "ever-questionable" Jeremy Price is about the best description of Jeremy I've ever heard.
ReplyDeleteCrab Cakes? I fucking love crab cakes!
ReplyDeleteSo Noelle - who is this mystery blogger? Might as well let us in on the secret.
I bet you could have a conversation but I doubt it would be words that got little guy here to put his tiny sword away.
ReplyDeleteAcceptance is a hard thing to win, especially when you're anonymous. Trying to win acceptance in Dayton?! Shit, only acceptance in Dayton is accepting your fate. Once you do that maybe you'll get invited.
Honestly I appreciate that someone's speaking frankly. there's just no need for it to be so offensive. Making it offensive just gives away how upset the little guy is. We know he is little because he can't do it in person. Though it may be big...
What with all the complaints about other people being skinny... Jealous much? Dude is way into skinny girls who hang out with skinny guys while little dudes little sword is still limp in his hand...
I'm not one of the people mentioned on this blog but I am friends with some of them, they are good people. I won't be back.
I'm not going to make any unconfirmed accusations, and I don't think I'd want to out him on his blog anyway.
ReplyDelete-Noelle
Unconfirmed accusations are the best type of accusations – haven’t you ever heard of a witch-hunt? And to out someone on their own scandalous blog? Pure McCarthyism awesomeness! I suggest, since the writer is obviously connected to the Dayton scene, that we set up loyalty review boards to investigate and accuse.
ReplyDeleteWho do I think the blogger is? I am going to say it is Brian Baker. Why? Why not.
DUN DUN DUN!
ReplyDeleteHey, mang, you're like that Sherlock Holmes, mang!
i'm a nobody and i'm fairly certain no one cares about my opinion. nonetheless, i feel compelled to speak my mind. i openly admit that one of my favorite past times is to make fun of the local scene. i think most of the bands in town are terrible and that hipsters and scenesters and cool kids could use a real dose of self awareness. however, followers do just that, they follow, cling to others who follow and probably find a dilluted sense of inspiration from those who they identify as a leader. however, my judgement of this behaviour is rooted in an observation of the whole and consequently, i am always surprised by individuals when i engage them face to face.
ReplyDeleteroscoe, if you have the good sense to identify the failings of group mentality and point them out, have the good sense to not insult individuals unnecessarily. i don't really know brandon hawk or joe andrel well and i doubt i ever will. i'm ok with that. i do happen to know jeremy price. ever-questionable? jeremy is solid. he's kind and has principles. if i misunderstood your post, i apologize. however, if i did understand the intent of your post, save your inflammatory and insulting comments for your own clique, your group, the people you spend time with.
ironically, i agree with some of your commentary about the behaviour surrounding a scene or clique. if you really want change, make an argument for inclusivity in the dayton scene, one that is so well reasoned you might actually find yourself included, which i'm assuming is the goal of your anonymous and cowardly lashing of other people who, and imagine this, are human like you.
-gabe mitchell
i did forget to say, your blog was well written. that is appreciated.
ReplyDelete-gabe
Nice diplomatic response Noelle!
ReplyDeleteAbout time for some local Dr. David Thorpes! Gabe, I don't think these guys are trying to "change" anything or have any delusions of grandeur. Probably more of a "why not?" scenario. I'll wager that they poked fun at Jerm 'cause they know him too. Even though I think this is fairly tongue-in-cheek, I sort of dread the day someone is out for VD blood (best incidental acronym ever) because they had some fun poked at them. (Actually, it's probably an achievement of significance if you're getting made fun of!) I had a laugh, so, as any irrational human like me would say, continue on VD until you embarrass me! :P
-Aaron Smith
P.S. I kind of want to reform Romance of Young Tigers so we can win the "Band who should throw in the towel" poll in a landslide.
Also, VD... I hope you are getting paid for ad views, I bet you could make some good scratch over the controversy you'll accidentally (or intentionally cause! There are few that pay out just for views.
ReplyDeleteI totally would! :P
..."praising the bran muffins". Genius. Pure Genius
ReplyDeleteThis blog is funny, largely because people take it so seriously.
ReplyDeleteRoscoe is being a bit more strident than I've been shooting for here on the VD, but he is putting up some funny stuff. Riding the edge between humorous and hurtful can be quite the headache I'm learning.
ReplyDeleteRelax everyone. We love the Dayton scene and (nearly) everyone one that we make fun of here on this blog.
Speak for yerself, prick.
ReplyDeleteIf this is all in good fun, you're too busy forging your own brand of elitism to see the slipper slope you're headed directly towards.
ReplyDeleteBy operating anonymously, then scoffing at the very people who are reacting to your completely unsolicited criticisms, you're doing nothing but betraying your own biases against the people you claim to "love". It's the tactics of angsty 14-year-olds and bullies. It will wear thin, and yes, you really will hurt someone's feelings.
If this blog is really supposed to be the Dayton music scene's "The Onion", then stop getting an erection about how much of a raging cunt you can REALLY be ("You fuckers think this was bad? Just wait.") and try to contribute something back into Dayton that helps it, not tries to divide it even more.
- Seth
this shit IS hilarious!!! watching everyone get so upset over satyrical blogging. the epitome of what blogs are supposed to be! funny. entertaining. someone's opinion. seems to me that if it reads offensive to you, well...there are plenty of other webpages in this digital sea. breathe and relax fellow daytonians. there are bigger things in this world to stress over. please dont get your skinny pants in a such a bunch.
ReplyDelete-Lee
oh entertainment! this little silly slap fight of messages is sooooo....proving a point in itself. its tragic and beautiful all at the same time. but mostly funny. its like watching retards fight for first in line for the short bus! hilarious! making my day. thanks.
ReplyDelete-coleen
You think it's funny because you get to watch from the sidelines. When anonymous people put up a blog about you and get to say whatever they want, in addition to making it seem like YOU are the one with the problem when you react to what they've said, you may approach the situation a little differently.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't see the problem brewing, then the point is whizzing over your head while you adjust the velcro on your shoes...
My two cents:
ReplyDeleteI've quite enjoyed the blog so far, but I think this post missed the mark. Being inflamatory and funny works, but this just wasn't funny enough to not upset people. Personally, I would have gone with A "State School Plays Meeting of Hipster Illuminati" and pitched it as a cult-like meeting of minds or something.
Glad to see I got mentioned though, haha.
Jeremy Price
"If this is all in good fun, you're too busy forging your own brand of elitism to see the slipper slope you're headed directly towards."
ReplyDeleteYeah, that.
Passing this off with notions like "I can't believe people are taking this seriously" is an extremely feeble cover up for the fact that the whole reason this exists is because someone's little feelings clearly got hurt by their lack of acceptance of some sort.
You should call this blog "Rainbow in the Dark" instead.
i can't wait untill this blows up in your face.
ReplyDelete-p.r. nick
Ok, let me clarify since every one is so upset. This blog is designed to poke fun. If you get your feelings hurt, it's not personal. However, I believe that several people on her GET the point of this blog. As for State School, you are missing MY point. I think State School is good. Why do you think I was so upset that I wasn't there? I only said they would have probably paled in comparison to their million dollar brunch.
ReplyDeleteI smoke basic light 100's. I actually find this entertaining and just take it at face value. Brandon and I might actually talk about bran muffins and we would definately step out side for a smoke.
ReplyDeletejoe
thank you joe!
ReplyDeleteit's all in (good?) fun!
if it's all just in fun, why don't you use your real names?
ReplyDelete-p.r. nick
i'm quite unused to the habit of writing anonymously. the writer in me recognizes it as something that is fundamentally bullshit. yet being an admitted hypocrite and coward, anonymity frees me to say things which i'd never normally say yet things that i think some might find funny if albeit fictitious, misguided, childish, bone-headed and even asshole-ish.
ReplyDeletei'm certain everyone will eventually figure out who is up to this. one day many of us will reminisce about the VD and that one blogger who was pistol-whipped by the pistol whips until paralyzed and the awkward silence will be broken by going back to sipping on our whiskey or worrying about how we're going to pay past-due bills.
Remember the VD fondly when the internets go back to being stale.
Holy Crap!
ReplyDelete-Noelle
No foul. I don't really care, but I wasn't mentioned. I can get irrational at times...
ReplyDelete- anonymous - again
p.s. anybody wanna come to my noise luncheon? :)
ReplyDeletein response to whomever which anonymous you are (as i really dont care)....
ReplyDeletei dont know roscoe. nor do i care to find out really. appearently you are hell bent on finding out, so have fun with that. fyi, i do get out of the house. quite often infact. i may not drink my coffee and sit on my ass all day at the coffee shop between bike rides, but i am infact out plenty. and like yourself, if i werent getting paid to sit in this chair with ridiculous amounts of down time, i would have never stumbled upon this "beautiful tragedy" (whoever wrote that previously). and if roscoe feels like making an ass out of himself with this blog, then so be it! gotta love that constitutional right, even if it is getting your skinnies in a twisty. feelings only get hurt when you take ridiculous shit seriously. kinda like you trying to make hurtful references with fallicies and spooge. who is anyone really to be casting stones? but it certainly doesnt stop oneself now does it? quit harshing the mellow. your standing behind quite a curtain your self "anonymous"!
-LEE
The first blog made me giggle, but the comments made me sad.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we need to pass out those flyers they give out in preschool called "100 Ways to Praise Your Child" and just love the mean out of eachother.
ITT: A bunch of Dayton hipsters with liberal arts degrees come to the defense of State School, who has probably never received this much attention (so they should keep fanning the flames just in case someone forgets about them for a few seconds) and don't seem to appreciate this hilarious shout-out to their band. Huge LOLs at the internet white knight, crybaby, and super long overly thought out responses. Good job VD, you've gained 30+ local readers in just a day. You all better keep these posts coming!
ReplyDeleteNow that I know that it is not who I initially thought it was - I love a good train wreck.
ReplyDelete-Noelle
I'm posting here because everyone else of reasonable historical significance seems to be.
ReplyDelete-Jesus
Look upon my blog, ye Mighty, and despair!
ReplyDelete... but seriously. Why should anybody care about what an anonymous blogger has to say about anything? This might as well be a series of inane twitter postings (because I'm fucking bored). The only thing dumber than acknowledging hipsters and social statuses is trying to uphold one through the internet. Which, honestly, is the good reason to keep this person anonymous in the first place. Isn't it obvious that they want to be acknowledged for this... ?
Roscoe, I'm sure if you had asked around someone would have made you feel welcome to attend. I'm not close with them but I do know the State School kids are really nice people.
ReplyDeleteed lacy owns you all, mofos.
ReplyDeleteMan..i totally smoked out before i read this....and damn the delights sound exquisite.
ReplyDeleteI nominate p.r. nick for "king of the self-righteous art fag whiners".
ReplyDeleteyou got that right! actually it would be more like king of the elitist self righteous haters. cause i'm not really into art or a whiner.
ReplyDelete-nick
elite? who do you think you are, state school?
ReplyDelete-brian
Bye the way, State School has played the Dirt Collective several times. fyi
ReplyDeleteHey everyone!
ReplyDeleteCome to our house show tonight!
State School
Dane Terry (Columbus)
Miss Parade
Emanuel Cavallaro
738 Creighton Ave
9PM
I made vegetable soup. You're all invited.
-Noelle
There is a very good new dayton band called "fire and bread." I would chk them out.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah state school!
ReplyDeletei forgot about those guys for a brief second.
noelle is nice but the other two just hate everyone and everything.
i think its funny that after they wrote a song about riding bikes they actually went out and bought some.
Dear Anonymous directly above,
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm Noelle, what's your name?
jake
ReplyDeletewait, I'm confused this is a xanga right?
ReplyDeleteI don't have a septum piercing nor did I wear a dress. and blogging? buy a god damn sprial notebook. how depressingly lame
@JP2: boooooring
ReplyDeleteThis has Jeremy Fredericks written all over it.
ReplyDeleteif this was jeremy Freds it would be WAAAY more out there and Waay more Hilarious
ReplyDeleteps I am hurt and relieved that I am not mentioned yet
who is state school?
ReplyDeleteEverybody Leave The HandPuppet Band Alone! You all just jealous cuz u didnt think of writing Kidz Bop songs first. Its fun to rag on people who think different than me! State School, more like State Fool! Wokka Wokka!
ReplyDeletethey're not just for kids...they mention beer in about seven of their ten songs they wrote.
ReplyDeleterecently described state school a "wounded cute little young animal that you know you just have to put it down with a clean blow between the eyes" or something to that effect you know "put it out of it's misery"-type deal.
ReplyDeletemean as it may be, complacency in this town is a death trap. the circus comes through town once a year for a reason. leading by example is important, which i believe roscoe is overlooking. it's pretty easy to deconstruct something, building and doing the right things for the right reasons is something different. earth shattering. passion and pride won't get many a soul too far, or it might get them too far.
I enjoy the basics of this, i mean it shakes shit up, but where does it lead is the main question i'm asking myself.
i think dayton has a vast lack of communication as a whole and this inspires it to some degree, albiet misguided.
i may be right and i may be wrong. i ain't gonna worry all day long. ain't no reason to hang my head, cause i could wake up in the morning dead.
this is shit you have to do yourself, and God knows it isn't easy.
Wait what? We're not miserable...we're having a great time! (Not relating to anything to do with this blog, I just mean in general.)
ReplyDeleteSo please don't try to euthanize us...
And unrelated, but I think Vishy should defect from this blog and cross over to the Animist Den.
-Noelle
I should have listened to you Noelle.
DeleteThis blog is for anonymous gossip. None of ya'll are any fun.
ReplyDeleteI head Noelle is a lesbian.
*heard
ReplyDeleteDude, it's true. I saw Noelle and Erica making out with each other in the bathroom at the Pearl.
ReplyDeletePics or it didn't happen.
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha, this is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI lick State School. I think there is good music in Dayton. You just have to seek it out. Its mostly the bands that rarely play.
ReplyDeleteEww - you hang out at the pearl! And in the bathrooms at that. The 5th street deli is a much better bathroom to watch girls make out in.
ReplyDeleteNoelle has a club foot and her breath always smells like tuna...
ReplyDeleteFor a straight girl she sure pulls off the Rosie Odonnel look nicely!
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you
ReplyDeleteIf all men count with you, but none too much
i think jeremy price is pretty hot. seriously. i can hardly contain my constant wanking to his boner-inducing sinews.
ReplyDeletei also think the fact that folks try to have serious, intellectual discussions based on what is written on the VD is pretty damned hilarious. in fact, it's more funny than the blog itself could ever be. kudos, VD. you're giants among dwarves.
i am nik wells, aka dik balls. i recorded state school at my apartment and cooked a brunch for who ever they wanted to invite. i did not start the vishnu den and i don't know who is operating the blog
ReplyDeletethis blog is silly. stop trying to disrupt the dayton love! we all love each other for the most part. only because we are forced to because dayton is such a small place. but we've ovecome that with coming together.
ReplyDeleteand whoever started this is obviously not receiving enough of the dayton lovin'. and i feel bad for you!